Wall Street Journal
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122131228598332189.html?mod=hpp_us_whats_news
On Friday two trains, one freight and a commuter train collided on the same tracks killing at least 17 by Saturday morning as well as injuring about 135, where 85 of which were in critical condition.
An eyewitness who witnessed the crash told authorities that the crash was horrendous and saw so may people hurting and screaming for help. She was a true hero, she went in to save all the people she could, until the authorities came. The fire department stated that there were people within the wreckage and needed to be surgically removed very carefully, in order to identify the bodies.
There were 222 people on the commuter train and there were four workers on the freight train. The cause for the collision is still unknown. Although it is not uncommon for freight and commuter trains to run on the same tracks.
Since the accident happened on September 11th, it did not help the timing and impact of the accident, considering that people were already remembering those who were lost in an event that was more devastating, however the proximity of the event makes the accident hit harder to home since it happened within the state of
1 comment:
Good news story, but your first sentence is way too long and convoluted.
Better on the news values but, again, add "emotions"/human interest. Your description of the actions of the eyewitness surely falls in this category.
Sentence fragment: "Although it is not uncommon for freight and commuter trains to run on the same tracks." See how to fix this error here.
8.5/10
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