Saturday, October 18, 2008

A soft broadcast lead

AN UNEXPECTED BIRTHDAY PRESENT

30 Seconds

Mabel McCullough celebrated her 95th birthday party, when the most unlikely of birthday presents came in, 24 of Tulsa’s own local firefighters.
Held by the First United Methodist Church women’s group, as McCullough blew out all 95 candles, it set off the smoke alarm. In turn, signaling the fire department.
Despite the uninvited guests McCullough did not seemed to be disturbed by the intrusion. She embraced it and turned it into an opportunity to have her photo taken with Tulsa’s finest. However the firefighters did not stick around to have some cake.

1 comment:

camccune said...

This needs to be in ALL CAPS for broadcast. Mabel isn't well known, so I wouldn't open with her name.

I like "the most unlikely of birthday presents" - nice turn of phrase.

How about: A 95-YEAR-OLD TULSA WOMAN RECEIVED THE MOST UNLIKELY OF BIRTHDAY PRESENTS EARLIER TODAY...A SURPRISE VISIT FROM 24 TULSA FIREFIGHTERS.

Then explain how it happened.

7.5/10