AN UNEXPECTED BIRTHDAY PRESENT
30 Seconds
Mabel McCullough celebrated her 95th birthday party, when the most unlikely of birthday presents came in, 24 of
Held by the
Despite the uninvited guests McCullough did not seemed to be disturbed by the intrusion. She embraced it and turned it into an opportunity to have her photo taken with
1 comment:
This needs to be in ALL CAPS for broadcast. Mabel isn't well known, so I wouldn't open with her name.
I like "the most unlikely of birthday presents" - nice turn of phrase.
How about: A 95-YEAR-OLD TULSA WOMAN RECEIVED THE MOST UNLIKELY OF BIRTHDAY PRESENTS EARLIER TODAY...A SURPRISE VISIT FROM 24 TULSA FIREFIGHTERS.
Then explain how it happened.
7.5/10
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